I lay here in bed holding my baby close. Baby number four. So many things I know now that I didn't with number one. so very many. Never grow old baby boy! Never age. Stay here in my arms like some mythological god, or peter pan-my babe. You smile and I know it's only time. Time whispers into my ears...school, college, independence, your own family someday. It's only a matter of time until I am no longer nuzzling your chubby feet. Instead I will be chasing your strong legs, as you learn to run. Running from me as I chase after you. Toddlerhood and on, and on. It's only a matter of time. A sadness washes over me as I realize this is the way it's supposed to be. I am lucky to know you, hold you, have you as mine, even if just for a little while.
I breathe a sigh, this idea doesn't bring me the comfort I seek. A sigh. A sigh for the things I cannot change. A sigh for my children, and mostly for me. Accept that Monday will come no matter how long I sit here in my make-shift nest. The one thing you cannot ignore is time. It comes whether celebrated or ignored. With one last kiss and a smile. We arise to see the rest of the family.
My heart still crying for tomorrow...
2 comments:
I am, sobbing.
I had to take my glasses off, and now the words that I'm typing are all fuzzy, and my face neck and chest are soaked.
you said it, Mama.
So perfectly said! My heart has known the same exact ache :o)
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