changes

It appears, as if overnight, my sweet, baby boy has grown up enough, to not need a crib. I'm still not really sure how he can be almost two already! The time seems to go faster & faster with each child as our family grows. I currently want to freeze everyone in place, so I can enjoy these ages just a "little" longer. So many things we think will never be forgotten, but they start to fade with time. The way one of the kids smiles at you with that mischievous twinkle in their eye each morning, a loved toy, favorite superhero traits, silly pronunciations, a funny joke told 80x a day. So perfect and seemingly solid in our minds, still they lose their potency with age. I guess I use photography and [this blog] to help remind me.

When the older two were little, I have every bit if their lives documented in photo's- favorite toy, bedrooms, play area's, bath time, lunches... on & on & on. I realized the other day that I have less of these kind of pictures for the little boys. So we snapped a few quick shots in their shared room. Little did I know at the time, it would be one of the last days, Baby {J} would be in the crib {officially}. Little monkey had started climbing out. The only thing holding back the transition was his Mama. It's hard letting go! At this point with the others, I would have had another bun in the oven and it was less sad for me. I'm having a hard time watching this one grow, knowing very well, he may be our last.

8 months

It's so hard to believe you've been here for 8 months already. The time has just passed like a flash. One moment you are brand new, first placed in my arms. In a blink you are crawling through the house looking for new adventures.

I am so so in love with you-those eyes, those dimples, the giggle smile. Your so sweet and easy going, a mother couldn't ask for an easier baby. It's been such a pleasure enjoying you as you are-not looking ahead to what you'll be. I'll have time to enjoy that when you are going through those stages and changes. My focus from the start has been to see you for who you are each and everyday and it's been a magical journey.

4 months

Four months... so short, but so long at the same time! In four months, it's hard for me to remember our family without you. You have stolen everyone's heart with the sweet smiles you share so freely, and the wonderful sound of your laughter. You seem to be growing so fast, I love watching you change, but also secretly want to keep you tiny somehow-a magic bubble or anti-aging elixir. Keep you my tiny, sweet little babe-so fresh & new. -love-

Summer's End

Summer is coming to an end for the first time...well in years, for me. This is the first year any of the kids will be in school-ever. Miss {M} will be attending a traditional school in less than 2 weeks! Homeschooling the older kids last year allowed the summer to just slowly fade into fall, and then onto winter in a smooth, seamless transition. We watched nature take us through the seasons and a growth of a new baby! I had no thoughts of, this is the last time for anything! Now all I can think is this is the last time of the summer at the park, the last time in the pool, chasing bugs freely through the yard, impromptu ice cream for breakfast mornings, or just hanging out watching movies on the couch with mama for a day. Let's face it, school changes things.

I'm excited that she is gaining independence and a greater sense of her self, but also really sad that she is gaining that independence, and more of herself, is less time with mama! I love homeschooling, but she asked if she could just "try" going to a school and we are going with it. She is hoping to make some friends--girls only she says, we have enough boys in the house already. Right now, Mr. {D} will probably be homeschooling again next year. He is on the waiting list at her school, so we'll see how that plays out in the next few days.

Sending the kids off to school is such a big milestone! It feels not only like the end of the summer, but the end of a time of my life. A time where I had them all to myself! Every smile, giggle, frown or tantrum was a part of our relationship and days together. I'm now sending off my babies to spend more of their day without me than with. Let me tell you, it's ridiculously hard!! So much harder than I ever expected it to be! The time of "all mine! is drawing to an end.

While I understand the significance of their growth and the necessity to be on their own "some" day, I can't help, but think that it seems to have come so soon. I used to roll my eyes at the "it goes by so fast comment". That was when I was knee-deep in diaper changing, sleepless nights and never ending repetition of the early days and adapting to becoming a mother. I look back now with a greater wisdom in my eyes [and a few tears] and say, "Yes! it really does-all too soon!" I'll be hugging the little boys, a bit tighter for a few days while I adjust to the change.

New Friends

Baby Unicorn has made some new friends. A sweet little owl with his muchroom, a happy racoon, and a badger [I think?]. The past two weeks, he has started to become really interested in his environment. These little creates live on his bouncer seat. They are part-time friends, as we only put them on the seat sometimes. I think this makes him like them even more!

It's really awesome to watch him grow a little more each day! I'm cherishing all these "baby" moments with him. I'm hoping he doesn't go through any of the stages too quick! [Little {L} went through everything in a flash]! I'm enjoying my son as a baby and not wishing him to grow too fast-it goes by in a blink of an eye no matter what! I want to have time to cherish each step in his growth! Even night feedings are starting to get cut out. While one one hand, I'm happy for the extra sleep, I do feel a little sad to being watching his newborn days drift away. I've been hugging him a little tighter and smiling a little extra when he does wake at 2am, knowing it won't be long now.

New Beginnings

It's great to think of all the new things we'll do with the baby. I love watching the relationships between the four children grow. They change and evolve each and everyday. The baby is flowing into those relationships seamlessly. Miss {M} loves to watch him sleep and tell him stories. Mr. {D} can't stop kissing him-ever! Little {L} wants nothing more than to spend hours holding him and helping change diapers. Yes, he actually wants to change diapers with me!

I look forward to watching these relationships grow through the years. Babies becoming siblings and friends.

One Year

It's easy to "forget" how much everything in our lives changes. It's often only when I look back at pictures that I am struck with the realization of how quickly! This month, we will add our fourth baby to the family. Last year at this time, we were a family of 5, one year later we are on the brink of 6!

Looking back at these pictures from last May, just reminds me how much the kids have grown while it didn't "seem" like they changed so much! Little brains grew & learned so much, tiny fingers lost their baby fat, a new streak of independence hit the older kids, we went through potty training, losing a pet, being pregnant for the 4th time in 6 years!

The newest little one should be here any day now! I am so anxious & excited to meet him/her. Everyday I wake up and think, maybe today is the day?? Everyday the kids wake up and say, "Will the baby be born today?" Mr. {D} is trying to talk me into a last minute, water tub, home birth, so he can be present and I don't have to be away from them while I'm in the hospital. He's so sweet and such a thoughtful kid for someone his age!!

growing up

Little {L} will turn two this week! Yes two years old already. I have no idea where the time has gone. One minute he was this sweet little newborn snuggling in close to sleep, and the blink of an eye...he's an adventurous, tough little explorer.

He's grown into such a funny little personality. The other kids laugh and say no one can ever stay mad at Little {L} cause he has special, magic charming powers. Sometimes, I think they are so right! Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

Keeping Busy!

"Work, work, work. You know mama, you don't always have to work. Sometimes you can just relax". Little Miss {M} tells me this all the time!

The problem isn't that I don't like working, rather I don't have enough time in a day. If I'm feeling creative, I'm feeling creative. It's hard to turn off! If a day goes by and I have not made anything it's hard for me to fall asleep that night. I've been know to get out of bed just to make a little something, to ease my nerves. At any given time, I have 1,001 projects dancing in my head-some of them need to get out.

I've taken to hand sewing while the bigger kids do some of their school work during the day. I started a new line of really cool....well, you'll have to wait and see what they are. It's awesome because I can still do some work while homeschooling the kids. Don't get me wrong, they have plenty of my attention, but I can fit in a little here & there while they are drawing or eating lunch.

It feels good being a good mom, and still getting to create!

We found this cool old children's school desk at a yard sale the Saturday before we started classes. It was like it was waiting for us to find him! Beckoning-haha. At only $8, it was a steal. {D} has used it every single day.

The baby even likes to sit at it in the morning, drinking his milk. It's so cute, and so unnerving at the same time. Every time I look up and catch him sitting there, I realize how quickly the time will pass and he really will be sitting there-waiting to learn. Pencil and paper in his hand rather than a sippy cup. Yes, very unnerving to this mama! It seems like yesterday that the bigger kids were toddling through the house and now they are learning to read.

BIG News!

Lots of things happening at our house over the weekend! The most important of all...{D} lost his VERY first baby tooth!! He was so excited and couldn't wait to see what the tooth fairy would bring him. She traded his tooth for 5 coins and a super cool, golden, fairy button.

Everyone knows that fairies are notorious for collecting little treasures and things lost to the humans. {D} was beyond excited that the fairy shared one of her treasures with him. He carried that button through the house for the entire day!

I was a proud mama, but a little sad too. My first baby is losing teeth...teeth! The tooth next to it will fall out at any moment. He's grown so fast and is starting kindergarten tomorrow-crazy!

Summer

With the end of the summer drawing near, I find myself a little sad this year. It's totally abnormal for me! Usually, I cannot wait for the fresh, crispness of Fall to arrive. [my favorite season of all!] I'd trade scarves & snuggly hats for bathing suits anytime [especially after my post-baby body!] The cool breezes, falling leaves, pumpkins and harvest=wonderful!

This year things are different. Things will never be the same again. Why, you ask??
{D} is starting school! The end of summer has suddenly taken on new meaning. Suddenly it's sounding so very "official". It's not really going to change too much, as we have decided to homeschool, at least for the next few years, but the sentiment is there. The kids are growing up, and things are changing. Normal people welcome change, I run away kicking & screaming. On one hand, I'm super excited, on the other I want my babies to stay....well babies.

We have our curriculum together, notebooks and pencils have been purchased. Mama has a surprise set of book bags in the works for both {D} & {M}. All I need is the strength to let my babies grow up.

Any homeschooling pro's have tips for me?

Happiness

One, two , three.....where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday I was becoming a mother for the first time. That small baby, so tiny and sweet, suddenly has adult teeth!! How did this happen? How can time pass so quickly? Even the smallest, is quite unsmall-ish now.

Sometimes at night I hold them close and think, please, stop growing so fast. I'll blink a few more times and they will be holding their very own, sweet first babies.

I feel blessed each day that I get to spend with them. To listen to their questions, which have grown more in depth and require answers with much more substance than, "because that's how it is baby". I get to see glimmers of what they dream and aspire to be. Best of all, I am still the person they seek out for comfort or just a much needed afternoon hug.

That is true happiness for me! What makes you smile?