changes

Turn and face the strain, chhhh-changes. I hear the David Bowie song in my head as I type. So many changes happening here. Little Miss M is growing up, it seems overnight! Another lost tooth for her last week. I don't know what it is about lost teeth, but it just seems so... grown up to me. I'm starting to miss my sweet, cherub faced little girl. The sounds of her feet, running through the house with her spiky pigtails dancing around as as she chased one of the cats to "hug". Those extra, extra long snuggles she perfected. Her little tidbits of childhood wisdom she would interject at- just. the. perfect. moments. As a toddler her eyes carried wisdom far superior to her numerical age. My old soul, my princess.

Her hugs have gotten a little shorter, her patience for mama a little less. More interest is swaying to her friends and school. Mama seems to no longer have all the answers [and some days none]. On one hand I feel deep sadness, like the loss of my friend. On the other, I try to understand it's the changes that need to take place as she grows into a strong, confident woman. I just hope she still needs her mama while she travels the journey- just a little.

The flower bud has to grow to bloom, but it still needs water & sunshine along the way.

8 months

It's so hard to believe you've been here for 8 months already. The time has just passed like a flash. One moment you are brand new, first placed in my arms. In a blink you are crawling through the house looking for new adventures.

I am so so in love with you-those eyes, those dimples, the giggle smile. Your so sweet and easy going, a mother couldn't ask for an easier baby. It's been such a pleasure enjoying you as you are-not looking ahead to what you'll be. I'll have time to enjoy that when you are going through those stages and changes. My focus from the start has been to see you for who you are each and everyday and it's been a magical journey.

Random

Living

Eating

Creating

Summer's End

Summer is coming to an end for the first time...well in years, for me. This is the first year any of the kids will be in school-ever. Miss {M} will be attending a traditional school in less than 2 weeks! Homeschooling the older kids last year allowed the summer to just slowly fade into fall, and then onto winter in a smooth, seamless transition. We watched nature take us through the seasons and a growth of a new baby! I had no thoughts of, this is the last time for anything! Now all I can think is this is the last time of the summer at the park, the last time in the pool, chasing bugs freely through the yard, impromptu ice cream for breakfast mornings, or just hanging out watching movies on the couch with mama for a day. Let's face it, school changes things.

I'm excited that she is gaining independence and a greater sense of her self, but also really sad that she is gaining that independence, and more of herself, is less time with mama! I love homeschooling, but she asked if she could just "try" going to a school and we are going with it. She is hoping to make some friends--girls only she says, we have enough boys in the house already. Right now, Mr. {D} will probably be homeschooling again next year. He is on the waiting list at her school, so we'll see how that plays out in the next few days.

Sending the kids off to school is such a big milestone! It feels not only like the end of the summer, but the end of a time of my life. A time where I had them all to myself! Every smile, giggle, frown or tantrum was a part of our relationship and days together. I'm now sending off my babies to spend more of their day without me than with. Let me tell you, it's ridiculously hard!! So much harder than I ever expected it to be! The time of "all mine! is drawing to an end.

While I understand the significance of their growth and the necessity to be on their own "some" day, I can't help, but think that it seems to have come so soon. I used to roll my eyes at the "it goes by so fast comment". That was when I was knee-deep in diaper changing, sleepless nights and never ending repetition of the early days and adapting to becoming a mother. I look back now with a greater wisdom in my eyes [and a few tears] and say, "Yes! it really does-all too soon!" I'll be hugging the little boys, a bit tighter for a few days while I adjust to the change.

One Year

It's easy to "forget" how much everything in our lives changes. It's often only when I look back at pictures that I am struck with the realization of how quickly! This month, we will add our fourth baby to the family. Last year at this time, we were a family of 5, one year later we are on the brink of 6!

Looking back at these pictures from last May, just reminds me how much the kids have grown while it didn't "seem" like they changed so much! Little brains grew & learned so much, tiny fingers lost their baby fat, a new streak of independence hit the older kids, we went through potty training, losing a pet, being pregnant for the 4th time in 6 years!

The newest little one should be here any day now! I am so anxious & excited to meet him/her. Everyday I wake up and think, maybe today is the day?? Everyday the kids wake up and say, "Will the baby be born today?" Mr. {D} is trying to talk me into a last minute, water tub, home birth, so he can be present and I don't have to be away from them while I'm in the hospital. He's so sweet and such a thoughtful kid for someone his age!!

In one week...

In one week, 7 little days, so much changed for us! I am sitting here, looking back on the week and everything new that happened.

{D} & {M} started school, "officially". They have a whole folder full of worksheets, projects and drawing that didn't exist a week ago. It's awesome to watch them learn and grow. I'm so happy we decided to homeschool. {D} is really interested in mammals right now, and {M} is picking up reading word after word, with little effort.

We had a few visits from the tooth fairy. She is becoming a regular at our house and I caught {D} trying to loosen some more teeth tonight. Loose teeth= a visit!

{L} had a sudden burst of speech this past week. He picked up about 10 new words. Bird, baa[for a sheep], watch out, feet and a few more. He learned the sign for elephant and has started pointing to his eyes, ears, mouth and feet when we ask him. He seems to be getting over the pain of his brother & sister starting school and being left out. He was so angry that the bigger kids seemed to be ignoring him all week, that he set out to get into as much trouble as he could find--and yes, he found A LOT!

It's easy to get caught up in the everyday hustle & bustle of life and miss the little things. More often than not, the little things are the important things. It was nice to take things a little slower, listen a little more to what the kids were saying and give out twice as many hugs! My sewing projects are beckoning me, so I just need to find a little time to squeeze into the studio and everything will be perfect.

So hug your kids and smile today!

Motherhood is...

Finding happiness in the smallest of things. Before having children I never would have guessed how amazing little baby toes are!

I can't believe how much the "baby" has grown and changed in the last year. I took the first photo when he was one day old, on his way home from the hospital. He fell asleep on Daddy's lap all curled up this past weekend. So big, but still so little.