Summer's End

Summer is coming to an end for the first time...well in years, for me. This is the first year any of the kids will be in school-ever. Miss {M} will be attending a traditional school in less than 2 weeks! Homeschooling the older kids last year allowed the summer to just slowly fade into fall, and then onto winter in a smooth, seamless transition. We watched nature take us through the seasons and a growth of a new baby! I had no thoughts of, this is the last time for anything! Now all I can think is this is the last time of the summer at the park, the last time in the pool, chasing bugs freely through the yard, impromptu ice cream for breakfast mornings, or just hanging out watching movies on the couch with mama for a day. Let's face it, school changes things.

I'm excited that she is gaining independence and a greater sense of her self, but also really sad that she is gaining that independence, and more of herself, is less time with mama! I love homeschooling, but she asked if she could just "try" going to a school and we are going with it. She is hoping to make some friends--girls only she says, we have enough boys in the house already. Right now, Mr. {D} will probably be homeschooling again next year. He is on the waiting list at her school, so we'll see how that plays out in the next few days.

Sending the kids off to school is such a big milestone! It feels not only like the end of the summer, but the end of a time of my life. A time where I had them all to myself! Every smile, giggle, frown or tantrum was a part of our relationship and days together. I'm now sending off my babies to spend more of their day without me than with. Let me tell you, it's ridiculously hard!! So much harder than I ever expected it to be! The time of "all mine! is drawing to an end.

While I understand the significance of their growth and the necessity to be on their own "some" day, I can't help, but think that it seems to have come so soon. I used to roll my eyes at the "it goes by so fast comment". That was when I was knee-deep in diaper changing, sleepless nights and never ending repetition of the early days and adapting to becoming a mother. I look back now with a greater wisdom in my eyes [and a few tears] and say, "Yes! it really does-all too soon!" I'll be hugging the little boys, a bit tighter for a few days while I adjust to the change.

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